Has been featured in many respected publications including…
How on earth?
A lot of people ask me how on Earth I came to be a life coach specialising in divorce…
It's quite a story. So if you wanna hear it I'm happy to tell you in the hope that you will learn something from my own mistakes. So to begin, I want to ask you. Have you ever told a white lie?
If you're brave and admit that you probably have, I wanna ask how many white lies actually make you into a liar Something to think about.
The perfect couple
So let's travel back in time, the year is 2008. I'm sitting having dinner with the girls. It's one of those very lively chirping conversations. The wine is flowing and someone says, how do you do it Adele?
You have such a great life, a great husband, house, you both fly around the world transforming businesses all the time. You're just so inspirational, like the perfect couple. You're so perfect.
And there it was, the word 'perfect'.
I'm smiling and I say, yes you know it's challenging, we're very happy, we're both on such a mission. I say these words but I'm dying on the inside because I know that reality is so far from that.
Pic of Adele and Bruce
If we fast forward a few hours, I'm walking back home and as I walk to the front door, there are no lights on and it's cold and it's dark. I put the key in the lock and I open the door and it dawns on me that my house feels so stuck and almost unlived in.
I draw breath as I walk straight into the kitchen. I don't even turn the lights on. And I do what I do every night. I grab a bottle and I pour a glass of wine and as I sit in the dark drinking, it doesn't even occur to me that it's weird. That I'm blinking away tears. Because it's our anniversary and he isn't here again. And I feel utterly isolated and alone.
It's a week later, we both managed to coordinate our schedules and I'm excited because he's finally coming home and I walk to the front door but there are no lights on.
My mission as a leading Life Coach specialising in divorce is to reverse the increasing divorce-rate with subsequent marriages through education.
It's again cold and dark. I put the key into the lock and I open the door. I'd missed him so much but as the door opens I could see so many suitcases and my mind was racing as I edged forward.
He's sitting at the kitchen table and he looks up. He is my Bruce, my ruggedly handsome, Joseph Fiennes lookalike husband who's face suddenly looks really forlorn and sad.
He draws a breath and he says, "Adele," and I rushed to stop him and I say no, don't do this. We haven't even had counselling. We haven't even tried. We can do this, we're in the business of transforming businesses and he interrupts me. Sit, my legs cave in under me as I find myself in a chair and he begins.
He takes another breath. "I slept with two women while I was in LA." And as he says those words, my heart jumps into my chest and I sit in absolute stunned silence as I felt utterly floored.
He continued, "I just can't live this lie anymore. "I've been living a double life for years "and I think we should divorce."
I rush in again, but we can fix this. We can fix anything. "No, we can't Adele, I've been cheating for years. "There have been around 18 women, I'm leaving you."
As he says those words, my face contorts as the floor just opens up and I sink into it. Before I can say anything else, the taxi collects him and he's gone. And just like that, my house of carefully constructed cards had crumbled and I could tell no one what had just happened.
Have you ever felt so alone that you could tell no one?
I felt so trapped by this facade of my life. Almost, throttled by it. I had omitted so many details about what my marriage was really like that I had made a cage and I felt so trapped by this facade that I needed to maintain.
So life continued, and I told no one (of course looking back I should have got a coach immediately, but like many others it didn't even occur to me that there were professional divorce life coaches out there that could help me).
I went to work, I flew to clients and I continued to transform companies. And I would come home and I would drink and I would have insomnia. And I did what people normally do in these situations. I went and I saw a therapist.
I would pour my heart out but it just actually made me feel more depressed so I dumped that therapist and found another one but I didn't feel any better.
The washing started to pile up in the house and the post at the door was just remaining unopened.
The fridge was empty, I stopped eating. The lights were always off and I sank into a complete abyss.
This cycle lasted some time as I realise now that I was actually in denial about my situation.
But one day, as I was sitting at the kitchen table, in the dark, there was a loud knock at the door and as I walked to the door and I opened it, and there I saw him…
The serious face with glasses. It was my dad, my daddy Santa had arrived and he marched straight past me into the house. "Adele, your mother and I are worried about you. "She sent me to find out what's going on."
And he looked at the mess in the house around and he said,
"What the hell is going on with you?
"What's going on with your house?"
And just like that I just couldn't hold it in anymore. And the floods of tears I had been holding back just came out and I was such a mess and I told my dad everything.
After awhile he looked at me and he said,
"Do you know, your relationship was always full of bullshit "from the start.
"We all knew it.
"Your husband never wanted to be here.
"He was always leaving, he was always busy.
"You really deserve better and we were waiting for you
"to face the situation and get real.
"You know you make a living out of transforming companies,
"you've designed transformational processes.
"You need to solve this.
"You need to face your mistakes, own them
"and clean up this mess.
"You don't need therapy, you're the one that you've been
"waiting for, you design something
"and you make this happen."
I made a commitment to my dad and as he drove away and I stood at the door and watched his taillights fade into the distance, I made a choice in here.
Pic of Adele with her parents before her second marriage
Source of divorce
I was gonna destroy this facade that I had created and I was gonna get real and I walked straight into that kitchen and I tore that kitchen apart.
I opened cupboards and I threw everything onto the floor. I went crazy. Cups and plates and glasses smashed into smithereens. Wedding presents crashed everywhere. The wine glasses we had drunk from at our wedding, all died that day and I poured all the alcohol that I had all over the house down the kitchen sink.
I felt a little bit alive again as I sat on the floor amongst all this broken crockery and glass. And I vowed to myself that I was not gonna get beaten.
So I cleaned up the mess and I became a total machine. I read 27 books on divorce and I built this process for myself. I wrote furiously on Post It Notes and I plastered things all over the kitchen floor.
It had a stabilisation phase, a transformational phase and a reclamation phase. It had checklists and steps and a new diet based on trauma recovery. It had divorce coaching activities and homework to do each day and I put myself to work on my programme.
Within two weeks, like a mad scientist I had found the source of my divorce and I'd owned all the ways in which I had contributed towards this happening. And how I had driven my husband away out of fear and insecurity. I felt so powerful in that moment because it was something I could take charge of and I could be in control of.
That I could see that I had owned something that had happened and it hadn't happened to me. I was actually part of it happening.
On day 15 I forgave him totally and on day 16 I called him and I got everything complete with him in a vow break that I had designed for us. It was actually a really moving experience. I then did the hard part because I called six of the women that he had slept with 'cause they were friends of mine and I got things complete with them too. No one said that divorce coaching was easy – but these actions were transformational for me.
There were a lot of tears but it was a lot of healing in that journey. In days 17 to 21 I rewrote what the next phase of my life was gonna be about and the whole divorce coaching process of recovery took 21 days.
It was a complete miracle. My ex couldn't believe the speed at which I had moved on and taken responsibility for my part in the mess that we had created. And so, the Naked Divorce 21 Day Programme was born.
"We jump in the trenches with you and we walk with you back into possibilities. You're not gonna get any lofty, academic, therapeutic mumbo jumbo from any of us"
Adèle Théron, Divorce Coach
I did have a problem though. Beyond my dad, I had told absolutely no one what had happened and so began the painful process of getting real with others and it didn't go to plan.
Some people were really angry with me. Some people were outraged. What, are you getting a divorce? But you guys were like the star couple. You were the perfect couple, so happy together. He cheated on you 18 times? With six of your friends and you just forgave him? Ugh, how could you be so weak to forgive him so quickly? You have to have made it hard for him at least. No, healing in 21 days just isn't real. Let's, let's just see how you get on 'cause it's just not possible.
All these things that people said was hard. But I realised it was hard because this was the impact of telling white lies for so many years. So many years of keeping up this facade of perfection. This was the price for not being real. But I kept going.
I knew that I had healed and I knew that this new phase was the truest I had felt for years and years and that it would take time for others to believe and accept the real me, the naked me, the imperfect me.
It slowly began to happen because I wrote a book about my experience, my journey to becoming a divorce coach and I published it. It was quite scary because it had a naked picture of me on the cover and it became an Amazon Bestseller.
And suddenly I was thrust into this limelight of interviews and television and radio as a divorce coach. Articles, Marie Claire, Cosmo, all over the newspapers. Divorce coaching clients I was working with started to heal in 21 days. And being real and true really became that motto to live by. My life as a divorce coach had begun.
Now if we fast forward to today, thousands of people have completed the Naked Divorce 21-day programme. People believe that healing quickly is possible.
We have a seven-day healing version [The Haven Divorce Retreat] of the Naked Divorce now. We have Divorce Angels all over the world. We've had our success published in over 78 publications globally and received rewards for running the best programmes on divorce coaching globally.
I went back to university and I got qualified as a certified divorce coach(divorce therapist) and trauma recovery therapist and I wrote programmes for the rapid recovery from all kinds of trauma. I developed a marriage programme to stop people from crossing the threshold into divorce and somewhere in between all that I met my husband and I left the corporate world completely.
So and creating all these other coaching programmes and retreats, we focused on the recovery of divorce, from infidelity trauma in marriages, from stopping people from getting divorced and then things that happen in relationships in life like birth traumas, bankruptcies, redundancies, health and midlife crises.
Adele Theron features as a leading Divorce Coach in many publicaitons. Including (as pictured) Marie Clare, The Daily Mirror, and Cosmopolitan.
Divorce coach Adele Theron on stage at the Mermaid Theatre, London
I like to be active; motorcycling, cricket, swimming, and the occasional triathlon. Hosting various social events, often in support of my linked Charities.
There is beauty in getting naked
We moved to Thailand to run our divorce coaching retreats full time, incorporating all the learnings from my studies since 2009. And I decided I was just gonna lead an open life so that others don't make mistakes that I had make.
So I showcase my relationship, marriage, and divorce mistakes to other people and I get real with other people so that I am the guinea pig for others. And this is really my best work, divorce coaching really is what I was born to do. And I feel incredibly privileged to do this work.
You know sometimes the hardest thing in the world is to admit that something is wrong. So if you find yourself keeping up appearances and maintaining a facade, I know exactly how exhausting and lonely that place can be.
And other people knowing you need help can sometimes feel worse than actually not getting that help that you need but I can tell you from experience that there really is beauty in the breakdown.
There is beauty in getting naked and facing the truth of the situation. That truth will set you free and it will give you new openings to new possibilities.
The Naked Divorce coaching book launch at Waterstones flagship store Piccadilly, London
Fight for your best life
So if you are feeling stuck in your life and you want more vitality, love and connection, you've come to the right place. What I will say is don't give up and sink into complacency. Fight for your best life.
With the right team in place, healing recovery is not just a possibility, it's a reality.
We don't commiserate, or simply allow aimless chatting. We focus on results and we will lead you out of your situation. We believe in recover and recovery takes hard work, homework, action and focus. If you do the work, you will heal.
So think about where it is that you are right now. Here in this place, what is it like?
Maybe you're feeling stuck, deflated, resigned, sad, worried, arguing a lot. Maybe you're in a relationship where you're tolerating less vitality, less happiness and you have less confidence.
Maybe you're retreating into a dream world to escape your real world. Then think about where you wanna be instead. What are these dreams and these aspirations that you had?
What if we can get you back to that place of love, happiness, vitality and confidence?
What if you could create aliveness and magic? Imagine being able to have all the conversations you wanna have and having the courage to get real with people.
Picture being able to melt those arguments and barriers in a moment. So to get from where you are to where you wanna be, I think you will agree that you probably need a new strategy and if you wanna explore what that new strategy is all about, get in touch with us andbook a clarity call.
Take that first step to reclaiming yourself and your real life. My team of divorce coaches (Divorce-Angels as we call them) and I are waiting for you and we are here to support you through every step of the journey. Until then.
BBusSci, Post Graduate Diploma in Traumatic Studies and PTSD, Executive Coach, Family Mediator, Dispute Resolution Facilitator, Professional Negotiator, Master Practitioner of NLP, Time Line Therapy™ and Hypnotherapy™, Cognitive Behavioural Therapist (CBT) practicing PTSD Trauma Reliving™, Practitioner of Emotional Freedom Techniques and EMDR, JAD Facilitator, Accelerated Learning Techniques Practitioner, Member of the Association of Change Management Professionals (ACMP), Member of ABNLP, TLTA, ABH
Not all work work work…
Divorce coach Adèle Théron's life in pictures…
At 'Care Corner' a charitable orphanage run in Northern Thailand
Hussling at Cricket at the annual Cricket 6's tournament
40th Retro Birthday enjoyed with lot's of dear friends
Blue thunder eyes, with Daniel Priestley, London
A humbling, but beautiful day amoung the river children of Cambodia
Featured on the cover of CityLife magazine
Relaxing with mom and dad, in North London
Fancy dress night with her Star Wars impersonator husband Simon
A beautiful exploartion through the Thailand jungles on elephant back
Featured as a key speaker at the KPI event, London
Pictured with her peers, and mastermind group
Celebrating Loi Krathong a few days prior to her second wedding.
Motorbiking through India, with Bruce. She past her driving test, 3 days earlier.
Hosting a murder mystery night in aid of charity
Her book quickly became a divorce coaching best-seller after launch
Pictured with her Nan, who past away recently
Never one to miss a photo opportunity
Scuba diving, after previously being told she couldn't for medical reasons
Skiing the powdery slopes ofNisseko, Japan
Embracing the wildlife at an animal sanctuary
Delivering a key speach to an enchanted audience, at Excel, London
Completing her 2nd ever triathlon, in a cold North London
Her wedding day with Simon, 2014. Overlooking the hills of Thailand
Tears in-front pf her family (they were never able to attend her first wedding)
Certified Trauma Life Coach
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