Chess is a game of strategy and tactics.
It’s a game in which you take out your opponents pieces until you capture them all and then attack their king. This is in no way what break ups or divorce should ever be about; yet sadly enough it is the reality of so many couples today.
Instead of focusing on taking your opponent’s pieces, you should be focusing on winning the overall game — which any player would say is much more rewarding in the long run.
Many chess players concede some of their pieces at the start of a chess game, and it may look like they will lose. As their opponent gets distracted and pride kicks in, they end up making silly mistakes and lose focus on what is important. As a result, they lose the game, sometimes very quickly as well.
Play the game and not the person
This analogy is not to compare divorce to a game because it in no way is a game, and it certainly isn’t any sort of “fun” which is what games were first intended for. Yet a lot of people these days treat breakups and divorce like a game; a cruel game.
Often it becomes a constant effort to prove the other person wrong, show them how happy you are without them, or trying to make them miserable just to make yourself feel better.
In divorce, people spend too much time focused on scoring points against their ex. This is completely the wrong approach in facing a breakup of any sort. It is upsetting how some relationships end out. In many cases they are completely unfair, but it is never then made fair by a person getting even; it never will.
The correct way it should be handled is to play the ball and not the person. Play the cards you have been dealt, but do not sabotage people around you in the process because you will never find rest in so doing.
Focus on the overall picture, achieving the objectives that you have set for yourself to accomplish the things that will help you and grow you through this time.
Do not focus on winning points or ruining someone else’s chances of finding happiness. Focus on yourself and what you need to do to find happiness again. Look for ways to step up to the challenges you’re faced with and deal with them with integrity and maturity.
That is how you will truly win.