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Six Reasons You Marry the Wrong Person | The Naked Divorce
6 Reasons Doomed to Marry Wrong

Six Reasons You’re Doomed to Marry the Wrong Person

“If anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony, let them speak now, or forever hold their peace.”

Ever heard that at a friend’s wedding and secretly listed all the reasons in your head why this union is so obviously a bad idea? When half of marriages end in divorce, it’s clear that an awful lot of us are messing up somewhere along the line.

Here are 6 of the biggest reasons why.

1) You Don’t Know Yourself Well Enough

Each of us is bonkers in our own unique way. You inevitably have habits and neuroses and personality traits that drive other people – even the people who love you most – round the bend. Perhaps there are things you’re deeply sensitive about, that make you fly off the handle irrationally. Ways of handling stress or challenges to your beliefs that don’t paint you in the best light.

The point is, like everyone else on the planet, you have ways of being difficult, or frustrating, or unreasonable, or annoying, or for want of a better word, a bit nuts. If you don’t know what they are, and you don’t consciously seek out someone who a) seems well equipped to handle your particular variety of quirks and flaws and b) who is nuts in ways that you can cope with, you’re in trouble.

2) You Invent Too Much of Your Partner

It takes a long, long time to work out how another person really thinks. In the early stages, that mystery is part of the thrill. All you have to go on is how that person looks and moves, their body language, their voice, and those scattered tidbits of their views and personality that they consciously curate, or accidentally let slip, when you’re together. Pushing someone – especially a man – too hard, too soon to open up is frowned upon or dismissed as needy or overbearing.

But what you don’t know, your imagination will invent, and if you find yourself walking up the aisle with someone whose beliefs, motivations, boundaries and internal life you’ve never really teased out, but have rather filled in from your own assumptions or romantic ideals, the reality of who they are may well prove to be a shock.

3) You Give Your Gut Feeling Too Much Credit

Sometimes it’s good to listen to your intuition. When you have a creeping feeling that someone is lying, for example. When you get the feeling they might hurt or endanger you. When something just doesn’t feel right. So much language between humans is unspoken, and these interactions are as meaningful as what we choose to put into words.

But our instincts aren’t sacred. They’re imperfect. They’re shaped by habit, by unconscious bias, by the false comfort of repeating behavioural patterns, even when this is bad for us. Instincts are, also, driven by things like lust and desire, or a craving for companionship, or learned behaviours from our parents and peers.

Your gut feeling tells you what feels most appealing right now, but it doesn’t tell you why. It doesn’t tell you whether this course of action is truly conductive to your emotional health, your security or your happiness in the long run.

4) You’re Petrified of Being Single

Loneliness is a terrible matchmaker. Fear of solitude nudges us towards all kinds of unfortunate decisions. It encourages us to mentally gloss over all the good reasons that someone isn’t right for us. It leads us into situations where we’re more miserable stuck with someone else than we would be if we’d just stayed on our own.

Plus, it puts unbearable pressure on the early stages of a potential relationship.

Rather than sounding out a friendship, rather than really listening to what that other person has to say, to learning how they think, and forming a healthy connection, you’re fretting over whether this will be the person who finally saves you from your shitty singledom. You’re making the situation all about you even as you lose touch with what you actually need.

It’s not a healthy place to be in at all. There isn’t an easy fix to this. It’s understandable to want a family, to want companionship, to want intimacy and sex. To want to grow old with someone.

But if you conflate your attraction to one person in particular with these needs as a whole – if you avoid asking whether the person you’re marrying is the right person to share these things with – it’s easy to see how you can end up making the wrong choice.

The important thing is to be honest with yourself about who you are, who your partner is, and how you fit together, rather than trying to shoehorn another person into your ready-made dream for the future.

5) You’re Not Sure How to be Happy

Here’s the great irony. So many of us expect to be blissfully happy in our marriage at all times, but we have no idea how that actually works. In fact, most of the time, we seek out relationships that mimic the type of bonds we experienced as children, because our minds equate familiarity with safety.

Rather than selecting potential spouses based on their potential to bring us genuine happiness, we find ourselves recreating relationships we recognise, even when these involve dynamics of control, humiliation, cruelty or emotional neglect that have made us miserable in the past.

After all, when in your life has a relationship (of any kind, with anyone), made you feel 100% happy – safe, secure, and content, with no fear, pain, frustration or resentment creeping in? If you’re answer is “never”, how will your brain recognise the signals it should follow to build a relationship like that?

It can’t do what it’s never been shown how to do before. You’re going to have to intervene, consciously stopping yourself from going down the same painful paths – choosing a partner wisely, even when your instincts protest.

6) No One Teaches Us This Stuff

Where did you get your relationship advice growing up? Unless, or even if, your parents were a perfect model of domestic diplomacy, no doubt you’ll have drawn your ideas from elsewhere. Maybe even from magazine advice columns? From novels, music or art? From (whisper it) Disney movies?

The thing is, these fantasy versions of idealised relationships were dreamed up by people who, in most cases, were no closer to figuring out the secrets to a happy marriage than you were, at 13, poring over their tropes about “finding the one” or “not settling for less than you deserve” or how “true love conquers all”.

There’s a reason fairy tales and romantic comedies end at the couple’s wedding: marriage isn’t the end of the story, a joyful vignette that’s perfectly preserved for the rest of your life. It’s the beginning of a long, hard slog of tough decisions, sacrifices, negotiations, disappointments, real and perceived betrayals.

There will be dull moments. There will be miscommunications. There will be fights. Being happy together and staying in love takes concerted effort, empathy and patience on both sides.

If you’re unwilling to accept a relationship that needs work, that occasionally leaves you feeling let down or frustrated, or in which either of you lacks absolute, eternal, unwavering certainty in your love for one another, don’t get married: get a dog.

Adele

 

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24 comments

  1. My names is Cathy i want to testify about the great spell caster called Priest Ade my husband and i have been married for 5 years now we don’t have a child and the doctor told us i can’t give birth because my womb have been damaged due to wrong drugs prescription this got me so worried and my husband was not happy so he decided to get married to another girl and divorce me i was so sad i told my friend about it she told me about a powerful spell caster she gave me his email address well i never believe in it that much though i just decided to give him a try and he told me it will take 24hrs to get my husband back to me and i will get pregnant i doubted him the 3rd day my husband came back to me and was crying he said he didn’t want the divorce anymore 3 weeks after the doctor confirmed that i was pregnant he can also help you contact him at

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  4. Hi everyone am AMBER ERIN, I do hope my post gets read and hopefully helps somebody along the line.i will never forget the help the wonderful spell caster Dr Larry render to me in my marital life. i have been married for 4 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly . after 4 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside, i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress house.. At this time i was confuse not knowing what to do. i was so depressed and had to tell a friend who told me how a spiritualist helped her out with her marital problems so i contacted him and i told him my problem and after he made some consultations he told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happened, that he will restore my marriage but i never believe him. To my greatest surprise 3 days after he has cast the spell my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him that he is very sorry for everything he has done to me and the kids …. now am happy we living happily with my husband and kids…thanks to the help of the great Spiritualist Dr Larry, contact him with any problem and am sure he will help email assurancesolutionhome@gmail.com website https://assurancesolutionhome.blogspot.com http://assurancesolutionhome.website2.me/ whatsapp him on +1(424)-261-8520 ..;;;

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  7. i want to say a very big thanks and appreciation to Dr. Keke Odin the chief priest of all spell casters worldwide for bringing back my husband who left i and the kids for almost three months within the space of two days after following all instruction given to me. i am very much grateful for restoring peace in my marital home, and i pray God almighty give you the strength and wisdom to continue helping more people having similar relationship and marital problem like mine. for help you can contact him now through his email and mobile number below

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  8. Greetings to anyone reading my comment, I got married to my wife Lopez, and we were going smooth and happy. it came to an extend my wife Lopez who used to love me, didn’t have time for me anymore, until i found out she was having an affair outside, i tried to confronted her and remind her of our past struggles together that made us who we were today, Sadly she didnt listened to me but divorced me and went to this guy. i cried all day like some of kid, i was in pains, and desperately looking for help on internet where i saw lot of comments and posts how people win their spouse back, i read about DR MUNA helped people with his love and reuniting spell. I decided to contact him and explain what has been bothering me to DR MUNA. He did a love spell that made my wife to came back and never think or see that guy again. Honestly DR MUNA is God sent to restore heart breaks and reunite relationship. I dont know how to pay you back DR but I promised to be ever greatful and i will continue publishing your good work. may the good lord be your strength and continue to use you to save people Here is DR MUNA Email ID marvelspelltemple@ gmail. com whatsapp number +2348071660388

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  11. STORY OF MY LIFE ON HOW I GOT MY MAN BACK AGAIN .
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  16. I am Elizabeth Diesta by name and I have been playing euro million for many years now and i have never won anything instead I wasted money in buying ticket, on one faithful day, I saw some guys that also play euro million, I heard them discussing how they won 2.8million dollars with the help of DR. OSCAR DILAN I now went where they were seating discussing it, on getting there I excuse one of the guys and asked him about the DR OSCAR DILAN that helped them won 2.8million dollars, he told me everything about DR.OSCAR DILAN and he went further to tell me how he has been helping them and I said within my mind that i’m going to give him a trial although I doubted him and I really contacted him and it worked out for me and I won the sum of 2,000,000 dollars,right now i’m very happy for the good work he has done for me and I promised to share his good work to the whole world, I want to use the opportunity to tell everyone that need his help to contact him on this email: oscardilan68@yahoo.com OR oscardilan68@hotmail.com OR oscardilan68@gmail.com …. YOU CAN USE ANY OF THE EMAILS TO CONTACT HIM …. This man will make you rich and his powers are so powerful… CONTACT HIM NOW: oscardilan68@yahoo.com OR oscardilan68@hotmail.com OR oscardilan68@gmail.com …. YOU CAN USE ANY OF THE EMAILS TO CONTACT HIM…YOU CAN ALSO CALL / ADD HIM UP ON WHATSAPP USING THIS MOBILE NUMBER:+2348077526136

  17. My name is Tracey Adams, My partner and I have been trying for a baby for over two years now, We were going to a fertility clinic for about 9 months before somebody told us to contact this spell caster who is so powerful, We contacted him at this email; oscardilan68@yahoo.com OR oscardilan68@hotmail.com OR oscardilan68@gmail.com …. YOU CAN USE ANY OF THE EMAILS TO CONTACT HIM , for him to help us, then we told him our problem, he told us that she we either conceive in August 2018 or September 2018,but after two years of trying we were at a point where we were willing to try anything. And I’m glad we came to Dr Oscar Dilan, Because his predictions put us at ease, and I honestly believe him, and his gods really helped us as well, I am thankful for all he has done. If you are in this kind of problem i will advice you to contact him with this email: oscardilan68@yahoo.com OR oscardilan68@hotmail.com OR oscardilan68@gmail.com …. YOU CAN USE ANY OF THE EMAILS TO CONTACT HIM for you to have your own baby in the family….YOU CAN ALSO CALL / ADD HIM UP ON WHATSAPP USING THIS MOBILE NUMBER:+2348077526136

  18. Attention To The Everyone,

    My wife has been suffering from thyroid cancer which was confirmed to be stage four, the doctor told me there was little he could do since she wasn’t responding to treatment but a friend of mine came to our rescue by ordering this cannabis oil from Dr OSCAR DILAN which he said has been helping some patient fight against cancer of various types so we decided to give it a chance, so far my wife is improving perfectly very well and presently she can walk around the house all by herself. I felt its necessary i let others who are suffering from this acute disease that once you have a good cannabis oil it can really give one a sound second chance of living by chance if you happen to be in need of this cannabis oil you can contact Dr OSCAR DILAN who supplied I and my wife with this email: oscardilan68@yahoo.com OR oscardilan68@hotmail.com OR oscardilan68@gmail.com

  19. HOW I GOT MY LOAN FROM THIS GREAT COMPANY CALLED ELLIOT OLIVE LOAN COMPANY

    Hello to All across the globe, I am Martha Loiussa, currently living in NEW YORK now, USA. I am a widow at the moment with 2 kids and I was stuck in a financial

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    and most banks declined my credit ,do not fall prey to those hoodlums out there that call them self money lender they are all scam , all they want is your money and

    you well not hear from them again they have done it to me twice before I meet Mr ELLIOT OLIVE the most interesting part of it is that my loan was transfer to me within

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    email……… ( elliotoliveloanfirm@yahoo.com OR elliotoliveloanfirm@gmail.com OR elliotoliveloanfirm@hotmail.com ) No credit check, no co signer with just 2% interest rate

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  20. Now You Can Stop Your Break Up, Divorce or Lovers Rejection… Even If Your Situation Seems Hopeless! My husband said he no longer loved me at the end of January this year and i was hurt and heart broken i felt like my life was about to end and I almost committed suicide, I was emotionally down for a very long time. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr OSCAR DILAN, which I meet online, on one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet and I came across a lot of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb, cure cancer and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. I also come across one particular testimony and it was about a woman called Tracey Hilton, she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr OSCAR DILAN mail address. After reading all these,I decided to give it a try and I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 48 hours, my husband came back to me and we solved our issues, we are even happier than before. Dr OSCAR DILAN is really a gifted man and I will not stop testifying about him because he is a wonderful man and so powerful… If you have any problem and you are looking for solution to solve all your problems. Great Dr OSCAR DILAN can also offer any types of help like Reuniting of marriage and relationship, Curing of all types of Diseases, Court Cases, Pregnancy Spell, Spiritual protection,winning of lottery and lot’s more. you can contact him on Email: oscardilan68@yahoo.com OR oscardilan68@hotmail.com OR oscardilan68@gmail.com …. YOU CAN USE ANY OF THE EMAILS……. YOU CAN ALSO ADD HIM UP ON WHATSAPP USING THIS MOBILE NUMBER:+2348077526136, if you have any problem contact him, I give you 100% guarantee that he will help you.

  21. Tracey Wilson Says

    Am giving this testimony because am happy and I want you all to be 100% careful on who you contact online so you will never and never be scammed at all as I have held an experiences with some useless and jobless spell caster who ripped me off the total sum of $39,000.00 dollars and another one also scammed me out of the sum of just $10,000.00 while the last one I meet collected the sum of $12,000.00 dollars from me and all these happened to me because I was so desperate in getting my lover back to me and one faithful and wonderful after noon as I was surfing the net I came accross a testimony on how one Tracey Jackson got her EX back to her with the help of DR OSCAR DILAN and I decided to give him a TRIAL because of all the testimony I read online about this man and at the end of it all it ended well as my ex came back to me at once and he has done all I asked of him to do for me and it did not only end up there this spell caster as did PREGNANCY SPELL for me and today am pregnant… His email address is : oscardilan68@yahoo.com OR oscardilan68@hotmail.com OR oscardilan68@gmail.com …. YOU CAN USE ANY OF THE EMAILS…… YOU CAN ALSO ADD HIM UP ON WHATSAPP USING THIS MOBILE NUMBER:+2348077526136

  22. Hello, My name is Faith am from USA ….. and I am very happy for posting on this blog on how a great spell caster helped me bring back the love of my life. I know there are lots of women like me out there who have done so much just to have back their Husband, I am here to tell you all to search no further because the answer is right here. I sincerely believe if there are up to five spell casters like DOCTOR WTAHA this world would be a better place, I contacted him and shared my problems to him and he gave me the terms and conditions, which I obeyed, it only took 3 days for my husband to come back home begging for my forgiveness. To cut the long story short. I am now living happily with my husband. Thanks to Dr TWAHA . Contact him now on email: drlregbeyen10000@gmail.com . Or reach him on whats app +2349038518881 or call him . He can save your marriage or relationships too.

  23. Hello everyone i am Mudaf Kyle from MALARIA , i am here to give my testimony about a great spell caster called Dr OLU, I was heartbroken and disappointed because i had very small penis, not big enough to satisfy or pregnant a woman, i have been in so many relationship, but cut off because of my small penis situation, i have used so many product,drugs,vaccines,herbs which doctors prescribe for me, but none could offer me the help i searched for. one faithful day i saw some few comments on the internet about how this great specialist called Dr OLU has been helping men enlarge their penis size ,pregnant woman and last longer in bed and i decided to email him on his email i saw on the internet,(drolusolution@gmail.com) i also visited his website http://droluherbs.clan.su/ and also his you-tube page https://youtu.be/VMTo3gqbO08 so I decided to give his herbal product a try. i emailed him and he got back to me, he gave me some comforting words and steps to follow which i did with his herbal pills for Penis Enlargement, Within 1 week of it, i began to feel the enlargement of my penis, ” and now it just 1 weeks of using his products my penis is about 10.5 inches longer in erection , and i had to settle out with my Ex girlfriend Stephanie, i was surprised when she opened her mouth and said that i almost killed her and she is satisfied with my sex and i have got a very Big penis now.
    Am so happy, thanks to Dr OLU I also learn that Dr OLU also help with
    penis enlargement
    weak erection
    erectile dysfunction
    breast pills and enlargement bums,
    pregnancy
    herpes cure
    diabetes type 1 / 2
    fat belly and swollen stomach
    Abortion
    malaria/lassar fever
    heart failure
    kidney problem
    human papiloma virus (HPV)
    tigthling and enlarging of vagina
    spell of all kinds(ex boyfriend/husband/girlfriend back,lottery spell,win a court case spell,job promotion or boom,marriage spell,breakup spells,cancel a divorce spell,Death spell and so many more

    so if you have any of this problem or other do not hesitate to contact Dr.OLU now for help on his email via (drolusolution@gmail.com or website http://droluherbs.clan.su/ [drolusolutionhome@gmail.com] or you can call him on his mobile number +2348140654426 ………for more information and advice contact my email mudafkyle@gmail.com THANKS

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