Death vs. Divorce – is our compassion balanced? | The Naked Divorce

Death vs. Divorce – is our compassion balanced?

A question I stumbled across recently when someone asked, “Why don’t people show the same compassion to divorce as they do to death?” a question that has a very fine line in being right or wrong but a question none the less that can have very different views when looked at on the other side of the fence.

Within Divorce and Death there are strong similarities in both concepts. Each both share an aspect of grieving, as aspect of loss, and practical adjustments that span varied timeframes. They both involve immense pain, and a fear of the unknown of what lies ahead.

Divorce although is not someone physically succumbed to death, however it involves a type of death, a matrimonial death, and a dying of a once healthy relationship. However it is very much a different context.

Perhaps Divorce and Widowhood is like apples to oranges. Both a type of fruit and similar shape but completely different texture, taste and colors. So comparing the two can be an incorrect judgment, but relating and understanding they are both circumstances of grief can be fair enough.

I read a blog from a Lady who did not feel she had compassion reached to her throughout her divorce, but her widowed friends were showered with compassion. Rather than support she felt withdrawel from her friends and an unspoken shift of blame from people’s eyes, which grew her isolation, which was a constant interference in her efforts to re-establish her life. She wrote suggesting there is a grieving cycle with losing a lost one but with divorce the cycle never ends.

From the Other side of the fence I saw a response of a lady who was a widow. She spoke of the struggles she faced as a widow. She rose her opinion that At least when one is divorced, very often the ex is available to provide some kind of economic or social support. This was not a possibility for her.

A pain from People experiencing Divorce can be that their spouse chose to leave them, rather than it being taken away with love still in a relationship.

But I believe whether death or divorce, neither should be pointed as one worse than the other.  People will always have their different opinions but everyone will agree that neither is desirable, and should ever get into the thinking for one minute that they are better off with the other option.

Each circumstance have a level of grieving in different ways, Both involve the loss of a spouse, but the circumstances, generally speaking, are dramatically different.

A more effective statement can be to consider the compassion you show to both circumstances. Compassion is a powerful emotion and action that can assist people in their current turmoil’s. Compassion should be given out regardless of blame or fault.

People feel pain on different levels and in different situations but no one deserves to be withheld from compassion due to those.  The ways in which people find new footing can not always be anticipated, but a way in which will help them get there is when compassion and support is available to them in whatever struggle they face…

Till next time!

Lots of hugs

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