I was a happily married person back in 2008 – but in actual fact, I wasn’t all that happy. It was something I told people over and over again and wasn’t sure I believed it anymore.
I had a big corporate career and have worked on some of the world’s biggest transition projects globally as I specialised in moving people through big corporate changes fast BUT I was in an unhappy marriage.
It was April 2009 that my ex-husband dropped the bombshell: he had cheated and he was leaving me. I felt like the ground was going to swallow me whole. As he left the house, I stood in my kitchen totally unsure of what on earth I was going to do with myself. It was during this time of wild craziness and anxiety that I visited 3 therapists (I kept firing them out of boredom at the slow pace and the doctors kept throwing new ones at me). I was utterly astounded at the nonsense being fed back to me. One by one, they said it would take me years to recover. They said I had big issues from my childhood that needed unpacking. They said I needed at least 2 years of therapy.
Well, when I heard that, I was outta there. I knew what they were saying was absolute BS. Everything I did in my work was about producing major transformation in a short period of time. If global multinationals could merge 2 divisions in under 3 months and outsourcing projects could take 6 months and I could manage all that – how on earth was 1 divorce going to take 2 years?!? Someone wasn’t being straight with me.
I became mad with anger and in my fury, totally trashed my kitchen and broke alot of things. My mother thought I had lost the plot, but I became reborn across a 3 week process I had designed. As I sat on my kitchen floor, I spent several days writing a process for my own recovery. I knew the stages I would go through and I was going to push myself through them fast.
I got over my divorce in 19 days. I even called my ex and completed a Vow Break with not only him but with the 18 women he cheated on me with.
I felt powerful and epic.
So you may ask me how on earth is this possible?
It’s because there is a massive conflict of interest with traditional therapists. Traditional therapists have the wherewithal to treat patients quickly but they don’t. Because they are paid by the hour (and not by the result), their job is to help their clients with tiny incremental changes so they don’t become disgruntled whilst keeping them weak enough to not leave.
In the corporate world, change specialists and executive coaches have to use top of the range techniques to move people through changes fast. Unfortunately most therapists don’t use these techniques. The only therapists who pride themselves on working fast are those who specialise in Trauma and PTSD. Those therapists are known to heal people in 8-12 weeks.
SO, I wrote about it. I did a post grad in Trauma and PTSD treatments at Reading University, trained with the Berkshire trauma service, trained as a Family Mediator and here we are.
I have spent the past 20+ years helping organisations and people cope with change and overcome trauma. I have personally worked with close to 7000 people to achieve rapid transformation either in corporate programmes or one-on-one.
I have published several books and articles and have been featured in 89 publications as a divorce expert across the globe. My life is ALL about empowering people through change, fast.